Truly Listening to an Understanding one Another--Including those Closest to Us

I am now 87 years of age. I was married to my dearlate wife Francie for almost 58 years. We had a wonderful friendship and a wonderful marriage. We have four children, four wonderful spouses, and 10 amazing grandchildren. Yet, if you ask me what I've learned most since my wife passed away is how much of what she felt and experienced that I did not fully appreciate. As I have read journals that she wrote and a book she was compiling, which I will finish, I've learned, soberly, and sometimes regretfully that experiences which I saw as glowingly positive experiences were not always experienced the same way by Francie. This learning didn't darken my appreciation of our years together. In fact if anything,it made them even more wondrous as I recognized all she has done despite challenges along the way. This experience of learning what another person has experienced has also been brought to my life by stories of caregivers I have who are helping me. As I've learned their stories, I have learned the tremendous challenges they have overcome. This has made me even more appreciative of the human spirit, the determination to overcome obstacles, which, in the case of many of my caregivers have been significant. Why do I write this? It is to convey a learning that I wish I had better acted on earlier.The learning of how important it is to take the time to really hear and understand what other people are experiencing, including those who are closest to us. All this reminds me of two things: first, the most precious gift we give another person is our time. Second, everyone sees the world differently and it's important for us to understand how they see and experience it if we are to have the most empathetic constructive relationship possible and convey the love we feel.