Truly Listening to an Understanding one Another--Including those Closest to Us

I am now 87 years of age. I was married to my dearlate wife Francie for almost 58 years. We had a wonderful friendship and a wonderful marriage. We have four children, four wonderful spouses, and 10 amazing grandchildren. Yet, if you ask me what I've learned most since my wife passed away is how much of what she felt and experienced that I did not fully appreciate. As I have read journals that she wrote and a book she was compiling, which I will finish, I've learned, soberly, and sometimes regretfully that experiences which I saw as glowingly positive experiences were not always experienced the same way by Francie. This learning didn't darken my appreciation of our years together. In fact if anything,it made them even more wondrous as I recognized all she has done despite challenges along the way. This experience of learning what another person has experienced has also been brought to my life by stories of caregivers I have who are helping me. As I've learned their stories, I have learned the tremendous challenges they have overcome. This has made me even more appreciative of the human spirit, the determination to overcome obstacles, which, in the case of many of my caregivers have been significant. Why do I write this? It is to convey a learning that I wish I had better acted on earlier.The learning of how important it is to take the time to really hear and understand what other people are experiencing, including those who are closest to us. All this reminds me of two things: first, the most precious gift we give another person is our time. Second, everyone sees the world differently and it's important for us to understand how they see and experience it if we are to have the most empathetic constructive relationship possible and convey the love we feel.

A Churchilian Moment--The Imperative of Standing Up for Ukraine--Unambiguousy

We (the West) must stand up unambiguously for the integrity of Ukraine. The recently tabled 28 point piece plan was a shamefully constructed document giving in to Russia demands. The US and Europe have stepped back from this in disarray,but we are still not declaring the absolutely essential end state for the peace agreement: a sovereign Ukraine, protected with an ironclad secutiry guarantee by the US and Europe. As I have written before, this will only happen by our inflicting greater punishment on Russia itself. We must demonstrate to Putin that he simply will not make further gains, and that we are prepared to do whatever it takes to ensure that he does not. We are going to need to accomplish this by providing all of the weapons that Ukraine needs, and allowing their used to penetrate Russian soil to inflict damage on military installations that are punishing Ukraine today. Putin will respond to nothing other than demonstrated force put into action. Some will object that this risk escalation. And it does. But conceding to Putin not only risks escalation, but guarantees it because we will not have a lasting peace. I recall a moment in the darkest days of May 1940 after the fall of France and with the British army at Dunkirk, and when the invasion of Britain seemed imminent. Lord Halifax and Chamberlain advocated discussions with Hitler modereated by Mussolini for peace. Church would not hear of it. He believed that any negotiation with Hitler would lead to national humiliation, loss of independence and eventual tyranny. He was prepared to fight on just as Ukrainians have been and are fighting on with daily loss of life. We cannot allow peace to occur on Putin's terms. They must be terms that Ukraine and the West and yes, Russia, accept as a reality and a guarantee of Ukraine sovereignty as a Nation.