Truly Listening to and Understanding one Another--Including those Closest to Us

I am now 87 years of age. I was married to my dear late wife Francie for almost 58 years. We had a wonderful friendship and a wonderful marriage. We have four children, four wonderful spouses, and 10 amazing grandchildren. Yet, if you ask me what I've learned most since my wife passed away is how much of what she felt and experienced that I did not fully appreciate. As I have read journals that she wrote and a book she was compiling, which I will finish, I've learned, soberly, and sometimes regretfully that experiences which I saw as glowingly positive experiences were not always experienced the same way by Francie. This learning doesn't darken my appreciation of our years together. In fact it makes them even more wondrous as I recognize all she has done despite challenges along the way. This experience of learning what another person has experienced has also been brought to my life by stories of caregivers I have who are helping me. As I've learned their stories, I have learned of the tremendous challenges they have overcome. This has made built and extended my appreciation of the human spirit, the determination and ability to overcome obstacles, which, in the case of many of my caregivers have been significant. Why do I write this? I want to underscore a learning that I wish I had acted on better. The learning of how important it is to take the time to really hear and truly understand what other people are experiencing, including those who are closest to us. All this reminds me of two things: first, the most precious gift we give another person is our time. Second, everyone sees the world differently and it's important for us to try our best to understand how they see and experience it if we are to have the most empathetic relationship possible and convey the love we feel.